'Silicon Valley' star Thomas Middleditch: Swinging 'saved our marriage' | News Coverage from USA

‘Silicon Valley’ star Thomas Middleditch: Swinging ‘saved our marriage’

Andrea Mandell


Published 10:05 PM EDT Sep 17, 2019

Thomas Middleditch isn’t holding back when it comes to his sex life.

Well, maybe just a little bit. 

In a new interview with Playboy, the “Silicon Valley” star revealed that he and his costume designer wife Mollie Gates have an open relationship and take part in the swinging scene.

“I don’t know how much I can say, because I don’t want my wife to be mad at me,” said Middleditch, 37. “Only after I got married was I like, ‘Mollie, I’m sorry, but we have to get nontraditional here.” To her credit, instead of saying “(Screw) you, I’m out,” she was like, “Let’s figure this out.”

Middleditch has been married to Gates since 2015. “To be honest,” he added, “swinging has saved our marriage. We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it’s better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows. By the way, it’s now called being ‘part of the lifestyle.’ The term swinging is old.”

He hasn’t always wanted to be “part of the lifestyle,” though. 

“Absolutely not,” he said. “I just like it. I’m sexual. I’d always thought I was a romantic and that when I fall in love, that stuff fades away. It does for some years – enough to be like, ‘I should get married, and I’ll be different.’ But it’s part of me. If that’s part of your being and it feels important to you, find a way to explore it, because repression sucks.”

His advice for couples exploring polyamory? Be open about your rules as a couple.

“Mollie and I have created our own rules, and compared to most of the people we’ve met who do this kind of (stuff), our rules are strict,” said Middleditch, who is writing a comedy series with his wife about their lifestyle.

“It’s a perpetual state of management and communication, to the point where it’s like, ‘All right, we’ve got to stop. Chill.’ I’m gas, and she’s brakes. This is actually the premise for a comedy series we’re writing together.”

The “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” star told the magazine he’s been to some sex parties, “some weird parties that were very ‘Eyes Wide Shut,’ from which I walked away thinking, ‘I don’t need it, but I’m glad I saw that.'”

Mostly, he says, his first concern is his wife. “Anything that happens has to be run by the queen…I love my wife like I’ve never loved anyone before. With two people who feel that way about each other, how do you go down that road? It’s tough. Bring a therapist along for the ride.”

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